Betty Grace

May 7, 2011

Dear Rebecca, Kristin and Susan,
I have thought of you all and Howard in recent years with affection and concern. I hoped that Howard’s increasing debility wasn’t causing him frustration and pain, and you heartbreak. I was saddened to hear of his death, in spite of whatever suffering accompanied his illness, because he was a good man and you have been a close family. As such, it seemed good that he was still in the world with you.
At the Toledo Medical College, I worked for Dickson Depommier (Sp?) between my junior and senior years in high school. When that session was over, Howard asked me if I would be interested in working in his lab. I washed a lot of glassware, maintained some active virus strains and did some filing and Xeroxing. I also handled paperwork in his efforts to contact individuals for his information that would advance his research. All this comes back to me now.
Howard had made a good impression on me from the first time I’d met him. He was cheerful, conversational. He asked questions with a sincere interest and listened intently. From the first acquaintance, he’d struck me as urbane, somewhat debonair: intelligent, well-educated, having a lively interest in a broad range of subjects and pursuits. But it didn’t seem I knew him as an individual for long; for soon after I stated working in his lab, he asked whether or not I would be interested in babysitting his children. He’d flattered me by alluding to his wife, who, he said, until that time, was pretty cautious against leaving the girls with just anyone.
And so, from early on, it was all of you whom I would come to know. And though our ways parted, and though there had been differences in ages, and stages of life, our worlds converged and you all became significant to me.
Rebecca, I appreciated that you and Howard both did much to encourage whatever track I might have taken toward medical school.
To all three of you, you and Howard been a pleasure to know over the years, near and far. I will continue to look forward to our contacts, with hopes that we can see one another again.
I will remember the way Howard tipped his head slightly, as he listened. He was a good boss and mentor: even-tempered, affable, encouraging. I can only visualize his face smiling or looking inquisitive, but almost always—smiling.
I hope that words from family and friends will comfort you and convey the warm regard and respect we have had for Howard.
Jim and I extend our sincere sympathy at this time. And I hold you in my thoughts.
Betty
Rebecca, not so long ago, you wrote that you were happy to see Kristin, Susan, and me each embark upon what looked like happy and well grounded marriages. You really were still a very young woman when I’d met you. In one conversation you lightly noted that on your 25th birthday, Howard greeted you asking:, “How does it feel to be a quarter century old?”, and that hadn’t happened so long before you recounted the story. Your and Howard’s marriage was an example to us all. We’ve all gained from its having a place in our lives.